Wow...this was only the saddest, most exhausting week of my life. For you clueless people out there, this past week I had all of my onstage dance rehearsals and then the recitals and concerts. Let me tell you what this basically entails. Ahem (sorry, just clearing my throat), this means sleeping on average about 4.5 hours a night, eating zero regular meals but tons of random snacks stolen from other companies dressing rooms while they're onstage, driving back and forth between Amity and Jonathan Law six hundred times, dancing anywhere from 3 to 14 hours a day... and dealing with little kids during the remaining hours each day. Despite all these cruel conditions, it's my favorite time of the year. Which is why it was so depressing for me. (I know I'm making perfect sense here, right?) I'm sure all the Lee Lunders know what I'm talking about. For the rest of you, just deal with the confusion.

Mixed into this crazy week of rehearsals was graduation. Which honestly, I could care less about. It was actually kind of funny. At graduation, a decent amount of people came up to me and said something like, "are you so excited?!" or "can you believe we're graduating?". My response never varied. It was simply, "oh, I could care less... I want this over and done with so I can go back to my dance rehearsal". This got a few shocked looks, many smiles that seemed to say 'I don't know how to respond to that so I'm just going to smile and maybe she won't interpret it the wrong way', and even a few "I love you, Trisha!"s. Those pointless graduation rehearsals kept getting in the way of my precious time onstage at Law! But whatever, I'm a graduate. Woo-hoo class of 2004. yawn.

So, this whole week I couldn't control my tears. In the shower, crying... driving in my car, crying... trying to sleep at night, crying. I felt so bad before the show on Sunday. Junior Company went to give me their gift and I literally took it and ran. Otherwise, I would have been crying out of control! I just love them all too much! I felt really bad about it afterwards. And by the time my final bow came that night, I was hysterical. I just don't know what I'm going to do without the studio next year! It's the only place I'm happy. The only pieces I didn't have to hold back crying during were Flashdance (need I say why?...no, =) I won't go there), Tina's and Katharine's. For everything else... it was hard to control myself. Especially during Chorus Line- oh boy, oh girl, I was crying like a little kid on the day their dog died or something. Talking to Debi afterwards was the worst for me though. She avoided me the entire week because she was afraid she'd get too emotional. So when she actually talked to me after the show it was pretty bad. I must have hugged her for a straight 817 seconds, give or take a few. I can't do this! I really should have just failed all my classes in school so that I could stay back another year, not graduate, and keep dancing!

Crazy week. It's left me exhasted (in every sense), sore, physically sick, depressed... but man oh man, I loved it.

It's been awhile since my last blog. Much has happened, but there's very little to talk about. POPS was hot. I had fun performing with Jenna, as always. Oh my god, I fell in love at POPS too. I literally almost fainted when I heard Evan sing and watched him perform. You see, I have this "thing" for tenors... more like an obsession really. So, as you can probably guess, Evan is a tenor, and his voice like made me melt. Just ask Jenna... she'll tell you. Or Brian. hehehe...I gave him a hard time about it. My one complaint about POPS though, or the only complaint I'm willing to mention here ;), is that it was way too long. Anything beyond two hours and I'm tempted to leave. Anything beyond three hours and I'm asleep in my chair. Unless it was three hours of a tenor singing to me...

So, I've come to a realization with only two remaining days of school. Most of my fellow seniors are at the point now where they're happy about graduating but sad that all these years are behind them. Me, I'm not like my fellow seniors. The day I graduate is the day my life begins. I couldn't be happier. I will never look back on these years at school and get that...remember the good old days...type of feeling. I won't miss any of it. As a matter of fact, the only thing I will miss at all from these past 17 years of my life is dance and the people there. I've realized this too. I've been suffering with this all year, and now the end is under two weeks away. Just today, during my day long studyhall at school, I was writing my end of the year cards for people at dance and I started to cry. It's no biggie for me to be crying about dance ending, happens almost every day. But it was in school, so it was kinda bad. Wow, I'm really not being funny today at all. And I have nothing to say. What's wrong with me? Okay guys, sorry for the bad post. Hopefully I didn't lose too much of my audience because of this.

I'm sure you're all wondering why I haven't posted in awhile...especially because I've had a lot of free time and prom was on Friday. Really, there's no good reason though. I mean...it's my same old, boring life. Thursday I didn't go to school because it was the senior picnic. This seemed like the most popular option for the seniors. Basically, I slept in really late and didn't do much all day. I went to get my nails done for prom. It took them 2 hours to give me a manicure and pedicure. Granted it was all luxurious and spa like...but we could rush it up a bit, no? The guy who gave me my pedicure was kind of freaking me out man. I made the mistake of wearing a skirt there. He was not only massaging my feet, but he was also going ALL THE WAY up and down my legs. I think he was enjoying himself a little too much. Totally uncalled for. It's a good thing I shaved that day though. Then he came over and gave me a back massage while my nails were drying. Hmmm...nice, but a little freaky for me considering it was like a 20 year old guy who had just rubbed too much of my legs. Guess I'm one of those people who needs their personal space.

Prom on Friday. What to say? Well, it wasn't the night of my life. I had fun while I was dancing, but honestly, the rest of the time I was miserable. I tried to keep it together, but I lost it at the after party. After hiding out in Kim's room crying by myself for a couple of hours, I decided to join everyone else. But, it was no use...I'm just a wreck. So much for my senior prom being an unforgettable and amazing experience. I was too busy trying not to start crying at the Omni and then trying to stop myself afterwards. Oh well...it's over. It was fun getting dressed up and actually dancing. Plus, I already had my fairytale prom night a couple of years ago that I can keep as a great memory.

This was the most social weekend of my life. That's kind of sad actually. Prom and party on Friday, then on Saturday Kimmy D. came over to hang out. We talked for hours about nothing. I'm not saying that in a bad way...it was a good conversation, just nothing I'm going to mention here. In the morning, she spent like 2 hours trying to wake me up. Her methods included putting ice cubes in my shirt, cheeze-its in my mouth, 3 ringing phones next to my ear, pulling me off of the bed...among other things. The one that actually worked was when she basically wrung a wet towel dry over my face. After I gave in and got out of bed, basically so I didn't go deaf or get pnemonia, we decided to make pancakes. Not classic circle pancakes...not even Mickey Mouse pancakes. Oh no. We spelled our names, or actually our initials, with the pancake batter. And we made the world's largest pancake. Good times, good times. I charred a towel by putting it in the microwave for too long. Good thing it didn't catch on fire. Don't ask why it was in the microwave in the first place. We're not going there.

Right...so anyways. On with my "social" weekend. On Sunday I went to Brian and Amy's memorial day picnic and on Monday I went to another memorial day picnic/my cousins' b-day party. Then on Monday night I slept over Jenna's. If anyone has ever seen the movie Soul Survivors and actually understands it then I need to talk to you now. I'm amazed by you. It was THE single most confusing thing I ever saw in my life. Literally. Watch it. It makes no sense whatsoever. It creeped me out too. Messed up movie. We got our POPS act together...sorta....and our costumes all figured out. Tuesday was another emotional day at the dr's for me...sigh. I live one messed up life. I'm glad to be able to share the bits and pieces of the more amusing parts of my life with you...even though this blog wasn't funny at all. Sorry to disappoint. I'll try to make something funny happen to me soon. Or better yet, if you want to have a guest appearance in my blog, you do something funny around me and then I'll write about it. I'll be on the lookout for that one.