Thursday, October 28, 2004

Okay, I'm going to start off by saying that when I finished my last entry with "I'll be back in a month"... I didn't intend it to be literal. But regardless of my intentions, an entire 36 days has passed since I last sat at my laptop and blogged. That's an entire 5.583 with a repeating decimal days longer than an average month. Then again, since 2004 is a leap year, it's only 5.5 days longer than an average month. Can you not tell why I am going to be a math major? You've got a nerdish quality too... don't deny it. Anyways... my sincere apologies to people who obsessively read my blogs as if it were the daily horoscopes found in the newspaper, or the sports section, or political campaign updates, or whatever other article you personally find pleasure in reading daily. I bet you're still thinking about your nerdish quality aren't you? I'll give you a hint... If you're checking whether or not my calculations were correct, you're a math nerd too.

I've realized a few things during my month off, a few... thoughts of wisdom if you'd like. First, my blogs have been lessening in humor quality. I've pondered over possible explanations before realizing well... that I had to ponder some more. To tell you the truth, I think I've been so busy procrastinating that it's too much for me to try and be funny. Even right now, as we speak... well, as I type.... I should be studying for a french test tomorrow. This is a classic example of my case. The majority of my time each day is spent deciding whether I should be working or doing activities which always seem to be more important... such as aimlessly surfing the web or walking across campus to check my mailbox for the 3rd time that day. I've come to a decision and I'm going to make a promise to you today. I'm going to step it up. Bring back some of that good old Trisha blog humor that recently seems to be found only in past entries. It's just like classic TV re-runs or old-school pop music. Why can't what's out today be as good as what was offered in the golden past? Why is nostalgia more comforting than the present? I'm going to change the rules right here, right now. Starting today, new blogs will be as funny as the old... instant classics every time!

Okay, I was getting out of hand with that theme so I decided to stop there. It just needed to end. Enough said. Instead, I'm going to tell you a story about how cool I am. I love these stories! Nothing's better than talking about the awesome dorkiness of me! ...Well, I'll admit that that's a lie what I said right there, I just got carried away and I'm too lazy to go back and erase it. Okay, this particular story started on a dark and stormy night. No... It's not the story of the Lee Lund ghost again, but bravo to you if you picked up on that... I've just realized that your nerdish quality is reading my blogs too much. Congratulations! ;) Back to my story... did I even start it yet? The setting: I'm in my dorm room, all alone (don't forget I said it was a dark and stormy night) and I'm staring, wide-eyed at what was in my hands. Unable to move, I could feel my heartrate increasing as I read the latest copy of the Wheaton Wire, completely enthralled in this week's issue. In this particular week's paper, they decided to share Wheaton College's ghost stories. Dun dun dunnnnnn!!!! I know what you're thinking.... and yes, it was probably printed at this time because Halloween is in a mere 3 days. You're smart enough to be a Wheatie, I can tell! Every college has their ghost stories, but not every college has true ghost stories! And Wheaton's are true. You know how I know? Because they wouldn't print it and let the whole school read it if it weren't true, silly! Wow... my own fake stupidity is even starting to get on my nerves. Anyways, one of the stories was about the ghost of Mary Armstrong who haunts the library. She worked in Wheaton's library from 1924-1929. Why did she leave in 1929 after only five years of work you ask? The answer isn't pretty. She committed suicide that year. Her spirit is said to be seen passing through the library hallways. Lights turn on and off and empty elevators descend to the stacks after hours. A favorite hobby of alums is to make a field trip out of it and spend the night in the library looking for her ghost. Of everyone who has stayed the night in the old library, the only common sign of "Aunt Mary's" spirit that they all have found is that the book entitled "Between Life and Death" had seemingly been pushed off the stacks as each party walked by.

Got it? So that's where the ghost story ends, now here comes the coolness of me part! This story made me curious. So naturally I headed over to the library. I contemplated sitting by the elevator near the stacks until closing time, 2:00 a.m., but decided that that would be way beyond even my normal level of procrastination. Instead, I looked up where "Between Life and Death" was located in the library. I went down to find it in the stacks, which are always empty and I'll admit pretty creepy. It's one of those places you just randomly start running out of because you start to freak yourself out. You know the sort, I'm sure. Anyways, so I find this book. I sat there for awhile and flipped through the pages. I don't know what I expected to happen, but I still sat there flipping those pages. I put the book back on the shelf and looked over both my shoulders before turning to leave. I'll admit, those little hairs on the back on my neck were raised. Then, I stopped dead in my tracks and slowly turned back around.... No, the book didn't fall off the shelf- calm down! But I thought to myself, imagine how creeped out I would have been if when I went down to find the book in the stacks, I found it lying on the floor. I'm not into the whole ghost thing (can't you tell), but that would have seriously freaked me out a bit. So, why not let someone else experience it? I went back to the shelf, took the book, and left it face up on the floor. Aren't I so clever? I bet I creeped someone out to the extreme! Hahaha, I'm the biggest dork on the Wheaton campus! Who would do that besides me? Why would anyone do that? I sure don't know the answer. But hey, I'm just keeping the ghost story alive! There were other ghost stories in the Wire that were just as intriguing, but I wasn't prepared to go steal the key to the basement of Emerson which has been locked for 60 years just to find out what had killed the old janitor and his dog. And you're crazy if you thought I'd spend the night in the closet where Eve Everett was strangled to death by her boyfriend. The scratch marks are still on the walls! Forget about going to the graveyard that's across from campus on Halloween night. I'm just going to head over to the coffee shop where the old president choked on a croissant 30 years back and let his spirit scare me for the night!

So I made that last one up, whatcha gonna do? It's better than if I had said he was killed by the giant snapping turtle that lives in the pond, isn't it? Have a great Halloween. Stay clear of librarians who may seem a little on the depressed side, asking them when a book is due may put them over the edge. Don't follow around any janitor that has a dog, or boyfriends who have a habit of strangling people. And why not? Avoid presidents with croissants as well. Just avoid croissants. Stick to candy.